Tough day today - don't know why........
Spent a good part of the day fighting back tears, trying to just get through to the end. I hate the way emotions can creep up and totally control me. So far I've been very controlled but today...for some reason........
I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing that I cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart
In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me, You sustain me
My defender for ever more
When hope is lost
I call You Saviour
When pain surrounds
I call You Healer
When silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart
And I will praise You
I will Praise You
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to You
I will praise You
Jesus praise You
Through the suffering
Still I will sing to You
Thursday 21 May 2009
Tuesday 24 March 2009
Silverstone Completed!!!
I did it - without the use of medical staff, ambulance or a stretcher!
The day started early at 6am - we left Scunthorpe at 7 with my adrenaline just beginning to bubble. According to reports from the passengers in my car it peak about 1 hr away from Silverstone. I was described as being "extremely pumped". Admittedly I was a little excited.
We arrived nice and early at Silverstone - which was great as we got parking space near the entrance (benefited us after the race). Total praise must go to the organisers as it was very well done.
We had about 2 hrs to kill so we wandered around the area, gathering all the freebies available (Lucozade galore - although the "energy bars" were not nice at all)
The tannoy called all athletes to make their way to the start area - and we responded as on that day we were classed as ATHLETES!!
While standing in the starting area - it was announced that the race would be delay by 15 minutes due to some people being held up on the motorway (LEAVE EARLY NEXT TIME PEOPLE!)
Finally the race started and we set off.... well Mark C, Nigel and Me. Mark Watt and Mark Dobb had found their way to the front as they intended to rocket around the track. Me.. I was aiming for 2hrs 40mins (with a pork sandwich waiting for me if I was successful)
MILE ONE - 12min 13 seconds; perfect pace. I was happy.
Between Mile One and Two - I lost Mark C, and tried to keep up with Nigel. I managed this until Mile 3.
So all the plans of running together went out the window and here I was alone with Lionel Richie in my ears. 10 miles to go.
I pressed on until Mile 6 when I had to stop - and after that it was a case of Run/Walk. It was also at Mile 6 that I began to feel a blister on my little toe (pic attached)
I pressed on through the miles and got to Mile 12 with 2hrs 35mins on the clock. One mile to go, I had nothing left but didn't want to quit. As I rounded the last corner I was overtaken by a guy dressed in full army gear and carrying a huge back pack. Respect to him!
As I crossed the line I really wanted to burst into tears - it was a massive emotional moment! Everything was hurting but I didn't care - I'd managed to finish!!
Got my medal and met up with the guys - (they'd all finished before me!) No one dared utter the words "Here's to next year" (I think Mark Dobbs was thinking it though)
It took 3 days before I could move without pain. It was a great experience, and you never know..... I may do it again next year - although that is in NO WAY a statement of confirmation.
The day started early at 6am - we left Scunthorpe at 7 with my adrenaline just beginning to bubble. According to reports from the passengers in my car it peak about 1 hr away from Silverstone. I was described as being "extremely pumped". Admittedly I was a little excited.
We arrived nice and early at Silverstone - which was great as we got parking space near the entrance (benefited us after the race). Total praise must go to the organisers as it was very well done.
We had about 2 hrs to kill so we wandered around the area, gathering all the freebies available (Lucozade galore - although the "energy bars" were not nice at all)
The tannoy called all athletes to make their way to the start area - and we responded as on that day we were classed as ATHLETES!!
While standing in the starting area - it was announced that the race would be delay by 15 minutes due to some people being held up on the motorway (LEAVE EARLY NEXT TIME PEOPLE!)
Finally the race started and we set off.... well Mark C, Nigel and Me. Mark Watt and Mark Dobb had found their way to the front as they intended to rocket around the track. Me.. I was aiming for 2hrs 40mins (with a pork sandwich waiting for me if I was successful)
MILE ONE - 12min 13 seconds; perfect pace. I was happy.
Between Mile One and Two - I lost Mark C, and tried to keep up with Nigel. I managed this until Mile 3.
So all the plans of running together went out the window and here I was alone with Lionel Richie in my ears. 10 miles to go.
I pressed on until Mile 6 when I had to stop - and after that it was a case of Run/Walk. It was also at Mile 6 that I began to feel a blister on my little toe (pic attached)
I pressed on through the miles and got to Mile 12 with 2hrs 35mins on the clock. One mile to go, I had nothing left but didn't want to quit. As I rounded the last corner I was overtaken by a guy dressed in full army gear and carrying a huge back pack. Respect to him!
As I crossed the line I really wanted to burst into tears - it was a massive emotional moment! Everything was hurting but I didn't care - I'd managed to finish!!
Got my medal and met up with the guys - (they'd all finished before me!) No one dared utter the words "Here's to next year" (I think Mark Dobbs was thinking it though)
It took 3 days before I could move without pain. It was a great experience, and you never know..... I may do it again next year - although that is in NO WAY a statement of confirmation.
Saturday 14 March 2009
Silverstone - The Final Prequel
With just under 16 hours till I'm standing at the start line, I can honestly say I'm both nervous and excited. I'm all packed, my playlist is sorted, my post run packup is ready (thanks Sall).
Yeah, maybe I haven't trained enough. Yeah, I've not got the greatest passion for running as some do - but despite this - I'm still going to do it. I'm looking forward to seeing that last mile post, to crossing the finish line, to the celebrations, to the immense euphoric feelings it will all bring. Whatever happens tomorrow - I make one promise - I will cross that finish line.
I will say thank you to all those who have wished me well, and to the guys running with me - this is a massive achievement for me, I certainly could not have done it with out you. Whats the next challenge??
And Sall - thanks for everything :) You are my hero!
BRING ON SILVERSTONE!
Yeah, maybe I haven't trained enough. Yeah, I've not got the greatest passion for running as some do - but despite this - I'm still going to do it. I'm looking forward to seeing that last mile post, to crossing the finish line, to the celebrations, to the immense euphoric feelings it will all bring. Whatever happens tomorrow - I make one promise - I will cross that finish line.
I will say thank you to all those who have wished me well, and to the guys running with me - this is a massive achievement for me, I certainly could not have done it with out you. Whats the next challenge??
And Sall - thanks for everything :) You are my hero!
BRING ON SILVERSTONE!
Thursday 5 March 2009
The thing I hate the most......
At the beginning of the year my weight was.... wait for it.... 111.7kg which is 17.6 stone. Yep - I was a slightly overweight. My aim this year was... and still is... to lose a good percentage of that.
So I joined a gym and went every morning...well most mornings with my good friend Mark W. I began to eat healthy stuff and cut out all rubbish. Not completely mind you, I've had 2 curries this year :) (I don't agree with complete denial of the good stuff)
I also started training for this half marathon. I've mentioned before that I hate running - deeply hate running. The weird thing is that the thing I hate so much is the thing that is working!
I now weigh in at 16.6 stone (106kg) I'VE LOST A STONE - 14 pounds of fat!! Woohoo. This running lark has its benefits. This evening I went for a short 2 mile run. I remember trying to run this a few months ago and failing badly!
This time - complete breeze. No pain, a little huffing and not a hint of sickness!
You never know - after Silverstone, you may still see me running... you just never know.
So I joined a gym and went every morning...well most mornings with my good friend Mark W. I began to eat healthy stuff and cut out all rubbish. Not completely mind you, I've had 2 curries this year :) (I don't agree with complete denial of the good stuff)
I also started training for this half marathon. I've mentioned before that I hate running - deeply hate running. The weird thing is that the thing I hate so much is the thing that is working!
I now weigh in at 16.6 stone (106kg) I'VE LOST A STONE - 14 pounds of fat!! Woohoo. This running lark has its benefits. This evening I went for a short 2 mile run. I remember trying to run this a few months ago and failing badly!
This time - complete breeze. No pain, a little huffing and not a hint of sickness!
You never know - after Silverstone, you may still see me running... you just never know.
Monday 2 March 2009
Silverstone - 5
Less than 2 weeks away!
My race number came last week - 3880. Kinda brought the reality of the entire thing front and centre! Yesterday we ran 10 miles and for the first time I managed to complete a run without stopping (Mark Carp's a legend!)
I was hurting soo much - 8 miles in I desperately wanted to stop. Mark turns to me and says "No point stopping now, you've done 8 - you can't let the last 2 beat you!"
So I plodded on. Monday morning I felt like I'd had open knee surgery without the pain relief! I walked funny, and struggled through the day. But you know what... despite the pain - I'm very proud of what I've achieved.
Chatting with people on Sunday at church - someone said they could never run 5 miles. To be honest 6 months ago I thought the same. I still hate running, but I've developed a new found respect for them. The level of determination and sheer grit it must take to keep going it admirable - certainly in me. I can never say "I can't run 10 miles" :)
so 15th March - 12pm I'll be running 13.1 miles - that's only 3.1 more than I've run already. Can't be that much harder........can it?
My race number came last week - 3880. Kinda brought the reality of the entire thing front and centre! Yesterday we ran 10 miles and for the first time I managed to complete a run without stopping (Mark Carp's a legend!)
I was hurting soo much - 8 miles in I desperately wanted to stop. Mark turns to me and says "No point stopping now, you've done 8 - you can't let the last 2 beat you!"
So I plodded on. Monday morning I felt like I'd had open knee surgery without the pain relief! I walked funny, and struggled through the day. But you know what... despite the pain - I'm very proud of what I've achieved.
Chatting with people on Sunday at church - someone said they could never run 5 miles. To be honest 6 months ago I thought the same. I still hate running, but I've developed a new found respect for them. The level of determination and sheer grit it must take to keep going it admirable - certainly in me. I can never say "I can't run 10 miles" :)
so 15th March - 12pm I'll be running 13.1 miles - that's only 3.1 more than I've run already. Can't be that much harder........can it?
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Silverstone - 4
19 days to go!
So on Sunday, our training run was set for 7 miles! Man that's a long way! Mark Carp signed up...(or was pestered into signing up) only a week ago.
We set out on the run and all felt good, settled into a nice pace and I survived it. Stopped a couple times but not as many as before.
Got home, climbed in the shower and vomited for 2 minutes! Right there in the shower - all over my feet! Pretty gross! Not sure if that's a bad sign after 7 miles - makes me wonder what will happen after 13!
On Wednesday or Thursday we're doing a gentle 5 miles then stretching for 10 miles next Sunday.
These guys (Nige, Mark D and Mark C) are machines! Mark C kept me going, and their support has been invaluable! Even though it hurts badly, I'm quietly confident that we can actually do it!
So on Sunday, our training run was set for 7 miles! Man that's a long way! Mark Carp signed up...(or was pestered into signing up) only a week ago.
We set out on the run and all felt good, settled into a nice pace and I survived it. Stopped a couple times but not as many as before.
Got home, climbed in the shower and vomited for 2 minutes! Right there in the shower - all over my feet! Pretty gross! Not sure if that's a bad sign after 7 miles - makes me wonder what will happen after 13!
On Wednesday or Thursday we're doing a gentle 5 miles then stretching for 10 miles next Sunday.
These guys (Nige, Mark D and Mark C) are machines! Mark C kept me going, and their support has been invaluable! Even though it hurts badly, I'm quietly confident that we can actually do it!
Friday 9 January 2009
Pictures Speak a Thousand Words
Found this image today on my phone.
Took this the day after Andy died. We went to the beach as a family to get out of the house for some fresh air.
The picture says everything about how we were feeling. It was a very surreal day.
Road to Silverstone - 3
4.7 miles! That's what I ran/walked last night! It hurt so much, but I did it. Thank to Mark's support, and drive!
This week I've done three mornings at the gym (7am - 8am) and a 4.7 mile run. (The .7 is very important for motivational reasons)
That's just crazy! Next week will interesting - 5 days of gym at 7am, and longer runs in the evening - lets see how I cope. 13 weeks to Silverstone
No more ripped trousers for me!!! Soon the "Michelin Man" title will be gone :)
This week I've done three mornings at the gym (7am - 8am) and a 4.7 mile run. (The .7 is very important for motivational reasons)
That's just crazy! Next week will interesting - 5 days of gym at 7am, and longer runs in the evening - lets see how I cope. 13 weeks to Silverstone
No more ripped trousers for me!!! Soon the "Michelin Man" title will be gone :)
Tuesday 6 January 2009
Road to Silverstone - 2
It's a new year and I'm still "training" for the adidas half marathon. So far I've run.....ermm.. well ... I've not been for a run since November.
So with about 13 weeks to go I need to really focus and start training. Mark W has started training to run a marathon in 13 weeks so if he can do it, surely I can be ready for a half marathon in the same time.
Time to suck it up and get serious! My longest run was 3 miles... which is a HUGE achievement for me. So training begins tomorrow... :)
So with about 13 weeks to go I need to really focus and start training. Mark W has started training to run a marathon in 13 weeks so if he can do it, surely I can be ready for a half marathon in the same time.
Time to suck it up and get serious! My longest run was 3 miles... which is a HUGE achievement for me. So training begins tomorrow... :)
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